February 2011

I really need a biographer to do this for me. I am just horrible at keeping track of these news bits that would mean a lot to people.

The regularly scheduled CT's came the end of January 2011. We were all anxious to see what was going on inside my chest. In December I thought I had a case of pneumonia brewing. Dr Dickson had written a prescription for it so I would be prepared while we were in Utah for the Tabernacle Choir concerts. About January 5th I became short of breath and felt terrible. I started the antibiotic after 3-4 days thinking I was being sure it was not just a cold. This is why they control antibiotics and don't let people use them as they choose.

I went in for check up CT's the 14th of January. When we got hold of them the next Monday there was a large amount of fluid in my left chest pushing the lung into the heart and mediastinum. My presumed pneumonia was something a little more ominous. Something to do with the cancer has affected the return flow of fluid produced in the pleural space back into the lymph system. Dr Dickson wanted to get the fluid out of my lung then see how fast it came back. We were thinking a month or so. Not to be. Less than a week and I am starting the process over, short of breath, can't lay flat, O2 won't stay up. Another chest x-ray shows the fluid is back.

The next step was a consult with doctors involved in my case. The consensus was a procedure called pleurodesis. They introduce an agent into the pleural space that irritates the lung and the chest wall causing the two to adhere to each other. Sort of like burning your fingers really badly and not separating them; they grow together. That is the object of this procedure. This will, if it works, shut off the flow of fluid into the left pleural space since there will no longer be a pleural space.

Dr. Schrader recommended the cardio-thoracic surgeons group in Idaho Falls. Dr. Rundall just arrived in IF about six month ago. He joined the practice of the older surgeons. He put me in the hospital Feb 1st and placed a small chest tube to drain my lung. He intended to watch it for a day or two to see what it was producing then do the pleurodesis. As is often the case, all did not go as planned. He had trouble getting the chest tube to install the way he wanted it. He later told us it was due to the youth of my muscles and skin. He had built his kit using this on older more frail people and he needed a little different setup to put this in. The second time was a charm, ok it still hurt. That thirty minute procedure ended up taking three hours.

I didn't think the hospital food was too bad, it looked good. However, I began to question how they could take normally tasty, appetizing dishes and make them so bad? No salt or seasonings has some of the blame.

The surgery was scheduled for Friday about noon. At eleven-thirty Dr. Rundall came in and told us the permanent chest tube had been delayed in Chicago due to the winter storms. He sent me home with a portable drain for my chest tube that I have to pack around. The surgery will be arranged when he knows the part is here. The silver lining is I don't have to eat hospital food another day, I get to go home for the weekend and I get to put of what I hear is a miserable procedure.

All seems well despite the setbacks. I have never been uncomfortable with the idea that this would be terminal. We have had the attitude that we beat it the first time and we will continue to beat it. We were brought up a little short these past few weeks/days and given a pretty intimate picture of what the end may be like. There is the problem when faced with imminent death that I am not sure the process will be that easy. I pray almost daily that I will be equal to bearing this when the time comes. I don't fear death. I do fear the process and final moments. I fear leaving my best friend and companion. I was so looking forward to growing old together, to doing so many things between now and then. But who knows how long we will keep this thing going. If the chemo gets worse it may be fairly short!! I am so appreciative of what I have been given. I have been able to bear this and keep a good attitude. I have been able to work for the most part. When I look at the difficulties of others I am glad to take mine.