Thursday night I was reading one of the books that our friends had brought me. At some point it showed a table of the 5 year survival rates for lung cancer. For some reason that set me back. I had not heard yet from anyone that 85.5% of those who get lung cancer aren't around after 5 years to talk about it. Perhaps because I don't feel sick yet just short of breath on occasion and I don't have the energy I did a couple of months ago. Otherwise it's business as usual. That statistic sort of slapped me up the side of the head. Even Dr. Dickson's "your going to die talk" the first day we met with him did not have that effect. I mopped around for the balance or the evening wondering if I could really win this fight.
The next morning I talked to Denise about it. It was obvious that the table was inclusive of all lung cancers. It did not say when the cancer was discovered. The numbers are correct but all lumped together. As Dr. Dickson told us "I still need a miracle". I got back on my mental horse and determined to be in that 14.5%. There are a lot of things on my side physically not to even begin counting the spiritual side.
More than anything I think I was amazed at how quickly I could be "turned to the dark side". There is a big fight ahead and if not found early and treated aggressively very few survive. It sounds like I will continue to need the moral support all of you have so gladly given: thank-you all. I still have a lot of things to do on this side of the Vail.
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